How to survive your child’s first day at school

You’ve bought the cute lunchbox, they’ve tried on the uniform… and they look so smart, but also so small. Here are some top tips from an experienced mother for coping (practically and emotionally) with your child’s first day at school…

by Marian Trudgill

In the midst of the summer months it all seemed so far away, but before you know it the weeks have rolled by and suddenly it’s September and you’re standing, dazed, in front of the school gates. 

But don’t panic! Here’s an experienced mother’s guide to expect from your child’s first day in reception, and plus some top tips for surviving your little person’s Big Day. 

(Of course, transitions of any kind can be a challenge – and if your child is going up from KS1 to KS2, or starting secondary school, many of the same things will apply.)

Coping part 1: Practical things

Uniform

In reception (and indeed, in every school year) there will be spillages and stains, rips and tears, missing items, and inexplicable mix-ups with the clothes of other kids. So the first rule of school uniform is that you need to have plenty of it. 

The second rule is that everything that can possibly be removed from your child’s person (from pants and socks right through to backpacks and lunchboxes), needs to have their (full) name in it – either in marker pen or sewn in on a label.

As to what uniform you need, we can’t do better than this excellent checklist on Netmums.

But one more tip from experience: slip a spare pair of pants or knickers and socks into their school bag along with a small plastic bag. Accidents do happen, especially in reception when they’re getting their bearings and forget where the toilets are

The lunchbox

A big worry is likely to be how well your child will eat at school, away from your nagging. 

If they’re having a packed lunch it’s common for schools to insist they eat their sandwiches before their treats and to prevent kids from sharing food with each other or throwing anything away. That means you’ll get a good idea of what they actually eat and how much they leave in their lunchbox.

Ideally your child’s lunch should include one of each of the following:

• a starchy food, such as bread, rice or pasta
• some protein, eg ham, chicken, eggs or tuna
• some dairy, eg a portion of cheese or a tube of yogurt
• fruit or vegetables

Fortunately, there are lots of ways you can help to make lunchtime more appealing for your child and trick them into eating more healthily! For example:

• make sandwiches more fun by using a food cutter to cut them into interesting shapes
• wraps or pasta salad can be another interesting alternative – and they also offer a good opportunity to pop in some healthy salad veg, such as lettuce, sweetcorn or grated carrot
• get towards their 5-a-day by making a quick and easy ‘pick and mix’ fruit salad. Simply chop up some grapes, apples and strawberries and pop them in a pot for a colourful and tasty treat. 

Getting your child involved in these choices (and maybe even the chopping) can also help to get them engaged – you might even take a special shopping trip together to hunt down packed lunch supplies. 

How about these fun lunch and sandwich ideas? See this Eats Amazing blog.

Getting organised

The golden rule is to do as much as possible the night before, including packing the school bag and making the lunch.

There really is nothing worse than a ‘Where did I put your school shoes?’ panic just before the school run, so get into the habit of laying out all their uniform the night before – and make sure that their shoes, coats, hats, PE kit etc are near the front door and ready to go.  

It’s a good idea to involve your little one in this process – they’ll get an idea of what they need on different days, and eventually may even remember things you’ve forgotten.

For the school bag, a checklist of items can be really useful for making sure you have everything you need (and that you bring it all back home again). Draw up a list together and stick it on the fridge, or pop a mini checklist on a keyring and attach it to your child’s book bag, for a quick and easy reference. (The teacher will thank you too!)

A weekly planner is another great way of dealing with the many clubs, plays and parties that your lives will now be filled with. Pop one on the fridge or noticeboard, and take a look at it with your child each morning. 

Staying in the loop

Once you’ve got past that difficult first day, you and your child will start to settle into a new routine – complete with a whirlwind of school clubs, trips, payment requests and party invitations. It won’t be too long before you ask them what they did at school today, to be answered with ‘Can’t remember’, or, even better, ‘Stuff’.

Kids are generally quite useless at sharing other important information too, such as letters. Cue the heart-sinking moment when you reach into their bag on a Sunday night, to find a piece of paper telling you that your little one is playing a goat in the Christmas play tomorrow – and you’re providing the costume!

If you want to know what’s really going on at school, get to know the other parents at the school gate and join any Facebook or Whatsapp groups for parents. Comparing notes on your kids’ various garbled versions of events is often very funny, too.

Coping part 2: Emotional things

Dealing with first-day nerves 

Many adults can still remember feeling scared on their first day at school. It’s common for a child to worry about certain things, such as remembering what they need to take, finding out where everything is, and whether they will settle in and make friends. And as a parent, you’re likely to be feeling pretty much the same!

It’s a good idea to have a little chat with your child before their first day. You could talk about the things you enjoyed about going to school, and any fun trips you went on. Ask them what they’re looking forward to, or if there’s anything they’re worried about. Try to be calm and positive, and offer them some reassurance if they need it. 

Having an early night

Sleep really is important for young children, and a good night’s sleep will help you and your child to deal with the big day ahead, so plan for an early night. 

Making sure your child’s bedroom is a calm and comfortable space is also important: to find out more about how to help your child get a good night’s sleep, read the article: Children’s bedrooms and the science of sleep. 

Enjoying breakfast together

If you’ve managed to get everything ready the night before, you can concentrate on getting them up and dressed and having some breakfast.  

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and indeed studies have shown that eating breakfast can improve memory and concentration, as well as lowering stress and improving behaviour and performance in school. Sharing breakfast together also gives you a chance to have some time together before the rest of the day begins.

But once the uniform is on and teeth are brushed, don’t forget to take that all-important ‘first day at school’ photo before you leave!

At the school gate

When you reach the playground, have a look around to see if there’s anyone your child already knows, as they may want to go in to the school together. If you’re going to work, make sure your child knows who will be picking them up.

When the time comes to wave goodbye, you may be feeling rather emotional yourself. Have the Kleenex to hand: it’s not easy to think of all those long days of wandering the park together or watching CBeebies coming to an end. Your baby is all grown up!

So it can help to have something planned to keep yourself busy if you’re not going to work, whether a virtuous trip to the gym, or coffee and something covered in chocolate with a friend. 

However, the good news is that those early school days really are great fun, and it’s lovely seeing your child form their first proper friendships. 

And pick-up time will come round alarmingly quickly. When your child comes out of school, they’re likely to be excited, tired, hungry – or all of the above. Have some snacks to hand for a quick energy boost and if they’re feeling up to it, offer to do something fun like a trip to the park, or cook their favourite meal to celebrate their first day at school.

Then do it all again tomorrow.

The main thing is not to worry too much. Kids are very adaptable and soon settle in, and these days schools generally make a big effort to help incoming children to feel comfortable. We wish your child –  and you – a happy and successful first day at school!

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